


Haikyu!! & Shingeki no Kyojin Oneshots & Drabbles (18+)

by tinynarutobookmark



Category: Haikyuu!!, Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst and Porn, Angst and Romance, Angst and Tragedy, Childhood Trauma, Choking, Dacryphilia, Daddy Issues, Degradation, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, Fluff and Smut, I am a stupid bitch who has mental illness and can’t motivate herself to write lmao <3, Multi, Other, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Praise Kink, Rape/Non-con Elements, Size Kink, Smut, Yandere
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-09
Updated: 2020-11-22
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:55:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,494
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26375335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tinynarutobookmark/pseuds/tinynarutobookmark
Summary: A collection of Oneshots written by yours truly. I just getting back into the groove of writing so don't expect 100000 chapters. But I do plan on writing several different kinds of stories within this collection so :)*Aone is my favorite character so he will end up being the focus of most chapters sorry lol**FEMALE READER, unless there is a request for NB or M**TRIGGER WARNINGS*RAPE/NON-CONPOTENTIALLY TRIGGERING DEGRADATIONPAST TRAUMA (based off of my own personal experiences)This collection will be y/n, but the reader is below average height, but please feel free to change it in your own mind. I will be kind of writing the reader to my own body type, which is NOT skinny, but yall are still pretty if you are skinny. So if you feel like that does not cater to your own personal needs just change it in your mind or find another story :) we don't support normal beauty standards because everyone is beautiful.THESE ARE ALL BRAINCHILDREN MADE FROM THE BOREDOM OF ONLINE SCHOOL DONT EXPECT NOVELS AJDFKNS
Relationships: Aone Takanobu/Reader, Oikawa Tooru/Ushijima Wakatoshi/Reader, Other Relationship Tags to Be Added, Reiner Braun/Reader, Semi Eita/Reader, Tendou Satori/Reader, Tendou Satori/Ushijima Wakatoshi/Reader, Ushijima Wakatoshi/Reader
Comments: 17
Kudos: 149





	1. Aone Takanobu

**Author's Note:**

> Well, here we are once again ._. 
> 
> *Beta read but not perfect so,,,*
> 
> Yandere Aone feeds my soul :) NEWAYSSS,,,,, no seggcy things yet just a tease bc I wasn't feeling quite as ambitious

It definitely wasn’t the smartest idea to try climbing the tree alone, but what other choice did you have? Mai and her gaggle of friends had once again made you the recipient of their wrath, pushing you down and throwing your bento across the pavement. This time was different though, you had a scarf on today, the vicious winds of Miyagi’s winter ripping through your body earlier this morning, and so just to go the extra mile, Mai and her friends took the scarf and threw it so far up the tree in the middle of the courtyard, that even the tallest students in the school wouldn't be able to get it without climbing. You stayed on your back for a little while longer as the girls walked away laughing, thinking about how you got in the situation of such bad bullying, what the hell did you ever do to those girls? you were short but not child-like, maybe your waist was bigger but it didn't make you ugly. You shake your head, choosing to let your worries go to the back of your mind until later when you could cry about it in the safety of your room. Looking up at the large expanse of the tree above you, you can see your scarf snapping around fiercely in the wind, almost threatening to leave the tree. You have to make a decision, leave the scarf or climb the tree, and hope you can get high enough. Holding back a scream, you set your bag down on the ground next to you, it didn't look like it would be too bad, you just had to pray your uniform wouldn't get ripped. You stalk your way to the ancient oak tree, craning your neck up the tree only to see that your scarf is much farther up than you had first presumed. With a heavy sigh, you take off your outside shoes, also leaving behind your thigh highs in fear of ripping them. You jump up and wrap a strong grip around the lowest branch, the tree unresponsive to your added weight, you begin your ascension. The first couple of branches are easy, your arm strength easily pulling you through the motions of getting to the near top of the tree. Once you reach a spot where the branches don't seem safe enough to climb, you search around you for the infamous scarf, then spotting it a branch or so above you, far out against the edges of the tree. You puff out your cheeks, preparing yourself fo the dangerous descent out to the edge of the tree's reach. The branches creaked in the wind, your hair whipping around and the cold right blasting through your clothes with freezing temperatures. You shuffle along the branch, chanting over and over to not look down, on your stomach using both legs to push yourself along the swaying branch, bark digging itself into your legs and hands, leaving angry red scratches behind as you get closer and closer to reaching the red woolen scarf.

"H-Hey!" A deep booming voice scared the soul out of your body, just as your fingertips brush the red scarf. You jump so badly that the scarf rips free from the tree and plummets to the ground. Just as your eyes reach the sharp gaze of a white-haired boy standing directly underneath you, near the base of the tree, the branch beneath you makes a loud snapping noise, sending you into a free fall almost fifty feet above the ground. No scream leaves your lungs as your foot strikes the branch below you and you scramble to catch yourself. The branches slip from your cold fingers as a squeal leaves your freezing cold lungs, a sharp inhale burning your lungs with the cold air. You manage to wrap your body around a branch about ten feet from the ground, adrenaline rushing through your veins and your ankle throbbing as you blink your eyes several times trying to recuperate and realize exactly what just happened.

"I am so sorry." The white-haired boy speaks below you, you look down and see that his face is blooming with vicious shades of red and as you strain to look closer, his eyebrows are missing.

"I-uh." You can't seem to find words as your breath returns to your lungs, a headache creeping its way into your brain.

"Are you alright?" His deep voice wavers, laced with guilt and you can see that his dark eyes are reflecting the embarrassed emotion his cheeks and ears convey. 

"I uh, I think I sprained my ankle when I fell. I don't really think I can climb down a-anymore." You blush as you realize he is trying to avert his eyes from your legs and skirt, which by hanging 10 feet above him is displaying everything your skirt tries to hide. You immediately shut your legs, which throws off your balance, and with a squeak, you plummet forwards, smashing your face into a branch, and then of the world goes dark around you. 

~~~

Your eyes burn as you open them to the bright lights of the Nurse's office, the buzzing of loud AC and shallow breathing filling your ears. You take a deep breath in as you begin to look around, you then start awake as your eyes meet those of the white-haired boy who must have saved you during your fall, or well rather Aone Takanobu. You knew him from your classes, he was always just a shadow, a quiet person who didn't make much of an impression other than being massive and an MVP on Datetech's volleyball team. Yet he had always been someone to catch your eye, he seemed to stare a lot, especially at you. You didn't mind, as you found him attractive, but as a target for bullying, the last thing you needed was another thing the girls could torment you with.

"I uh- sorry." It's hard for you to make coherent words as the realization of the past hour, or hours you decided to hope for the best and make a small estimate, you had been unconscious makes a timeline for you. You had fallen out of the tree one final time, knocking yourself out on the fall and then waking up with your head in the lap of a giant. Aone grunts in response to your apology, turning his head away and flashing you a glimpse of his bright red ears, burning either out of embarrassment or flustered excitement you couldn't decide.

"I uh, tell me, did you catch me when I fell? How did I get here? I didn't hurt you did I? I might be heavy I hope I wasn't a bother. Oh gosh! You arent in class, did I make you stay behind?" Your mind was racing at a million miles an hour, your heart beating out of your chest not only at the thought of the touch of a boy but also the thought of damaging another person or their day.

"Don't mind. You're light. I brought you here, your ankle." Aone huffs, pointing at your ankle wrapped in an ice pack. You hadn’t even realized that your ankle was throbbing, accompanied by a flash of pain anytime you moved it.

“Oh, I- Thank you so much, for uh, catching me and stuff," you let out a soft laugh, if not to ease you but him, "yeah that would've been bad, yanno' if you hadn't caught me." You give him a kind smile, extending a small shaky hand out, "L/n Y/n, it's a pleasure to formally meet you." You give a wide smile and await his hand to meet yours, a sweet jolt of energy coursing through you when your hands meet. His large calloused hands meeting yours in a small handshake, only then do you realize how cold your hands must feel against his, opening your eyes you see his expression has changed, a curiously small smile gracing his lips along with a flustered glint in his eye, his ears further flaunting how flustered he must feel inside as they turn a deeper shade of red.

"Aone Takanobu." He says, retracting his large hands from yours with a small bow of his head, an empty feeling quickly rushing through you before you shake it away. Why were you so happy to be around him? You just fell out of a tree for heaven's sake, and yet you feel on top of the world but just being in the presence of someone you had always admired from afar. A blush rips through your face and you emit a nervous laugh, almost to make sure he cant hear your thoughts as you look between him and your ankle.

"Oh uh yeah, I guess maybe we should go to class?" You give a kind smile, trying to mask your whirlwind of emotions ranging from nervousness to elation. Aone nods, standing up and offering you a hand, at first you don't take it, trying to stand on your own. That is until you fall face-first into Aone's arms, and you would be blushing mad if it hadn't been for the searing pain your sprained ankle was so kind to gift you.

"Oh, I uh- I guess its worse than I thought." You say, trying to hide your face by looking away to ignore how utterly embarrassed you are at your foul attempt of being independent in the face of wanting so bad to throw yourself into the arms of a near-perfect stranger. Aone bashfully wraps a long arm around your waist,

"Is it okay if I help?" He says shyly, trying his best to act as if this isn't bugging the daylights out of him being so close to you. Unbeknownst to you, he also took up the hobby of admiring you from afar, although his definition of admiring was to stalk you to near madness and know your every step each day. He told himself in the beginning that he just had a harmless crush, and maybe it was at first, but now that was just a lie to get him through the day without feeling guilty. Now he found you to be upon his mind at every waking moment, your smile was a drug he couldn't get away from, your presence a smothering force of nature that made him go mad. The first time he had followed you home, he told himself it was just to keep you safe, the streets were dangerous, he was keeping you safe, right? It became his favorite part of his day, keeping you in his vision, feeding off of your energy as if he was right there within arms reach of you, and in his mind he was, he was right there with you keeping you safe, sending the bullies home screaming. But he couldn't, not just yet, he found waiting hard, but he knew if he made an outrageous move upon them you would be scared, appreciative that the succubus group of girls had fled, but still scared out of your wits about how they could've disappeared so suddenly. Of course, he would never know exactly what you would be truly afraid of, but he felt as if he almost knew you inside and out. Well, he hoped to one day know you on the inside, but when he thought of that he couldn't keep a feverish blush from rising to his ears, save for the blood that was waiting to head south. Aone couldn't help but shift his weight around as you helplessly nodded per his question. He wanted to act like he didn’t love the fact that you needed his help, helpless and at his mercy, just as you were only a little while before when you were asleep on his lap. A small smile drifts to his lips as he vividly remembers your sleeping face, so innocent and carefree, if he didn't know any better he would assume you had never had hardship cross your path just by the angelic aura of your presence, awake or asleep. But not now, now your walls are down, he can see the tears brimming your eyes, and a dark part inside of himself wanted to see them fall, to see the salty tears grace your beautiful cheeks, to watch you be in pain only for him to save you. He wanted to be your hero, so so badly he wanted to be your hero, his mind seemed to keep drifting back to that thought. At this moment he was, he might never know the extent of how grateful you are for him in this specific moment, grateful to have time away from the terror constantly following you in this school, grateful to have a hero for once in your life. You swallowed harshly, threading an arm around Aone's shoulders and allowing him to once again pick you up into his arms. You allowed yourself, for once, to be in the moment, absorbing the soft smell of pine and laundry softener filling your senses from Aone's shirt. As he carried you out of the nurse's office you groaned internally,

"I forgot, I need my stuff from the courtyard, can we go get it?" You ask, trying to act as if you aren't burning the image of him being so close into your mind for later. He nods in response, a small hum from the back of his throat acknowledging your request.

"Oh my gosh, thank you so much. You're basically my hero, I-I don't know what I would do without you, I hope I can repay you someday." You stutter on, ducking your head as Aone takes you through a set of double doors leading outside. The emptiness of the school grounds chilling you even further to the bone than the cool temperatures. You had fallen just after lunch, now school had ended, you had been out almost all day. You really were indebted to Aone at this point.

"Hey Y/n! Oh... what's going on?" You whip your head around as if caught doing something wrong, a smile gracing your lips as your eyes settle on your friend Y/f/n.

"Oh hey Y/f/n, I sprained my ankle climbing a tree and Aone is helping me get my stuff, I can barely walk," you let out a strained laugh, "If you wait here we are gonna go get my stuff and I'll walk home with you." You smile at her, waiting for her quick response.

"Oh yeah that's cool, I'm sorry you hurt your ankle. I'll wait here, I am waiting for my Mom anyway, so she can just drive both of us home." Y/f/n smiles back, waving as Aone starts towards the courtyards, the scene of the very first incident. He seems to make it over quite fast, even despite the little flurries of snow beginning to fall around you. Aone can't help but walk fast, anger ripping through his veins and gnawing away at his stomach, his vision and mind becoming cloudy at the thought of giving you to someone else. Suddenly, you and Aone turn a sharp corner, jolting you out of your haze of watching the small flakes fall around you. Dropping to your feet as Aone rids his arms of you like he was burned, your back is pressed up against the freezing brick wall, your hair being gripped by the small imperfections in the wall. His breath catches in his throat at the sight of you breathless and in even a little bit of pain. If he hadn't of been thinking clearly, you would've seen his compromising rush of blood to a situation he would definitely have to take care of later.

"It's impolite to make plans in front of others." Aone had a hand on either side of your face, and despite your better judgment you grab his wrists, not only trying to support yourself standing but also trying in vain to remove yourself from the situation. Your mind was racing at a thousand miles an hour as Aone's expecting eyes gazed angrily into yours. If you had been looking closer, you would have seen not only the anger but also the scalding hot lust shadowed in his blown-out pupils. 

"I-I I'm so sorry, I didn't even think about it I figured you didn't want to walk me home I-" You're cut off by his large hand tightly wrapping around your neck, scared tears running down your cheeks as you let out a strangled breath, both hands flying to the hand and wrist entrapping you.

"Keep crying, you look pretty like that." He says, lifting his eyes up to view his surroundings to make sure no one can see the two figures pressed against one another. You suck in an involuntary breath as he runs a hand down your body, over the curve of your breasts and stomach, hiking your skirt up slightly only to grasp the soft flesh of your thigh in his hand, rubbing small circles with this thumb. He watched you close your eyes, tears rolling out slowly, he wanted more, so so much more, but he would wait and merely burn the image of you helpless into his mind.

"God, such a whore, letting me touch you like this. But you're fine with it, right? I am your hero, after all, you should be grateful." Your lip quivers as you let out a choked sob, afraid of making any noise. Suddenly, he pushes himself away from you and the wall, letting your skirt fall back down. Your mouth falls agape as he takes a step away.

"You'll catch flies." He says cockily, walking in the direction of your bag that is still sitting at the base of the tree that started this whole escapade. You scowl, trying to ignore the second heartbeat in your body that is telling you that you're more than just scared. He stalks back over to you, still dutifully at your spot on the wall. Aone grins slyly at this fact, knowing full well what he had done and not feeling any remorse at all. In fact, he would do more if he could, but he knew the type of person you were. If you wanted more you would find him, and he trusted you with that.

"Here, go off with your friend." He spits, then leaving in the direction of the sports gyms, as you stand there in a confused state, struggling to pretend you didn't want to run after him and see how that situation would continue. 


	2. Ushijima Wakatoshi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A collection of Oneshots written by yours truly. I just getting back into the groove of writing so don't expect 100000 chapters. But I do plan on writing several different kinds of stories within this collection so :)
> 
> *Aone is my favorite character so he will end up being the focus of most chapters sorry lol*
> 
> *FEMALE READER, unless there is a request for NB or M*
> 
> *TRIGGER WARNINGS*  
> RAPE/NON-CON  
> POTENTIALLY TRIGGERING DEGRADATION  
> PAST TRAUMA (based off of my own personal experiences)
> 
> This collection will be y/n, but the reader is below average height, but please feel free to change it in your own mind. I will be kind of writing the reader to my own body type, which is NOT skinny, but yall are still pretty if you are skinny. So if you feel like that does not cater to your own personal needs just change it in your mind or find another story :) we don't support normal beauty standards because everyone is beautiful.
> 
> THESE ARE ALL BRAINCHILDREN MADE FROM THE BOREDOM OF ONLINE SCHOOL DONT EXPECT NOVELS AJDFKNS

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a songfic featuring our Ushijima :)
> 
> Song: Your Favorite Dress - Lil Peep
> 
> This song really inspired me to make an angsty manipulative Ushijima who just used y/n, who sadly really liked Ushijima nd Ushijima uses that to his advantage here :(
> 
> I'd recommend at least listening to the song once while reading or putting on a sad playlist bc this isn't gonna feel good :(

"I know."

Those words broke your heart and made it elated at the same time, what did he mean he knew? You thought you hid it so well. You did attend his games and shout praise for him, but you only kept your huge crush between you and your friends, how did he know?!? 

"O-Oh. Well, if that's all you have to say I guess I'll be leaving then." You said, trying so desperately not to seem pathetic in front of the unworldly man standing only a few feet away from you. You couldn't allow yourself to cry in front of him, you couldn't let such a confident and self-absorbed person know they had truly gotten the best of you.

"No, wait. Come here," Ushijima stopped you form turning around with a large hand wrapping around your arm. It didn't take much for him to take your attention again, to your disappointment, "I know that you like me, so kiss me right now and prove you are worth my time. Prove you have the confidence to keep up with me." He stared cockily into your eyes, knowing he would win either way. You flushed, you knew this game, but for some unforsaken reason, you wanted to play, to dabble in your fantasies if only to crash and burn at the end. He did want you, you knew that, but you would allow yourself this if only to pretend the emotions were reciprocated. So you did, you forcefully grasped the back of his neck and smashed your lips together, letting the dam holding back all of the pain behind hiding emotions so strong finally breaking down. You poured yourself into the kiss, relishing the feeling of his large hands sensually gripping the plush boundaries of your waist and thighs, you closed your eyes even though you knew this wasn't a kiss to be taken slowly and relished. The groan he emitted into your mouth made your senses tingle, the sound sending a shock straight to your core and then following through to your toes. You desperately clung to his towering frame, knowing once you let go there will be nothing else aside from the memory of Ushijima's hands roaming your body to cloud your mind for the next couple of weeks.

"Fuck-." Ushijima grunted as one of his hands traveled further under your skirt to discover the thong you had purposefully worn today on the off chance Ushijima would throw you for a loop you wanted to be able to impress him in any way possible. You smirked into the sloppy kiss he was now giving you, a small gasp leaving your throat as he wrapped a large hand around your chin, guiding you by your head to the wood-paneled wall of the gym. Your eyes were locked on his as he closed the space between your two flushed faces.

"You are going to do what I tell you. And you are not going to make one sound." Ushijima smiled sadistically as you gulped heavily, nodding to the best of your ability around his large hand that was still gripping your face. His eyes lit up with dark lust as he pushed your face down, a sign for you to descend to your knees. Your eyes gleamed up at him innocently, and if he said it wasn't one of the most beautiful sights he had seen, he would be a liar. He looked around the gym, one last confirmation that you and him would be left alone, and he threaded his thumbs through the waistband of his gym shorts, reviling in the shock that spiked through his body when your hands joined his to pull down his volleyball shorts together.

"Eager are we?" You blush darkly at his words, retaliation bubbling up inside of your stomach as you yank both his shorts and underwear down at the same time. You would have felt courageous for moving so quickly, if there hadn't of been a half-hard-on of a monstrous size taunting you mere inches away from your face. Your eyes went wide, how in the hell would you even get half of that in your mouth? Much less other places, dear god you were nearly afraid.

"Don't just stare at it, or are you a poor little virgin?" Ushijima leered above you, dark shadowy eyes watching your every movement. You would have taken an anxious gulp of air, but instead, you were determined to prove you were far more than worthy of Ushijima's time. You shot an angry look up at Ushijima, locking eyes with him as you gathered saliva onto your tongue and proceeded to lick the entirety of your hand, then bravely wrapping your hand around the now semi-attentive length presented to you. You gave several test-strokes, your hand now looking petite as it could not wrap entirely around Ushijima's length. You opened your mouth, allowing another glob of saliva to travel down your tongue and onto his cock, catching it with your thumb and swiping once, twice, three times over the throbbing head. Starting with a few kitten licks to the tip, you allowed both of your hands to travel to the shaft and length of his cock. A long lick from near the base of his cock, along the protruding vein on the underside, and to the tip again was a precursor to you wrapping your lips around the tip of his cock. Your hands were slowly stroking what was not inside your mouth as you slowly allowed more and more of his viciously large length into your mouth. With hollowed-out cheeks you began to allow your head to mimic thrusts along his cock, each time more of his cock being enveloped inside of your mouth, the blunt tip of his cock now hitting the back of your throat with each thrust. You felt Ushijima's hips begin to struggle and stutter upon each move of your tongue along the underside of his length, the way your throat stimulated the head of his cock almost sent him to immediately to fuck your throat until you passed out. He didn't even try to refrain, wanting to see how far you would go to just please him. You let out a ragged hum around his cock as one of his large hands snakes its way into your hair with a death grip, maneuvering your head to his own pace as tears begin to fill your vision as his pace got harder to bear. Hot tears begin to roll down your cheeks, streaking the cheap mascara you had worn down your face in long smoky rivers that left a dark residue as memorabilia for later. At the sight of your wrecked makeup paired with the lewd noises emitting from your compromised mouth, Ushijima let out a drawn-out groan, the sound traveling straight to the growing dampness between your thighs as your hands tried to grip anything within reach. This happened to be Ushijima's thigh, which he promptly knocked your hand away while growling something about 'no touching.' At that remark, you twist one hand into your skirt, trying desperately to hold onto your dignity as you get viciously face fucked by a giant. Defying his request, you tightly grip the sweaty white t-shirt he had on, the damp material twisting between your fingers as you let out small whimpers of protest. His scent enveloped you, a mix of old cologne and sweat that made you want to stay this near to him forever, his comforting smell completely contradicting his harsh demeanor and vicious dominance. You could only allow yourself to slip out small vibrations of protest, and they nearly push Usijima over the edge, his head instinctively throwing itself back. His hair matted to his forehead as he whips his head back down to look at you, a hand stabilizing himself on the wall as the other hand ruthlessly picks up the pace to push himself over the edge, his hips bucking uncontrollably as you nearly gag while he comes down your throat. An inhuman sound rips itself from Ushijima's throat as you accept the rest of his cum into your spent mouth, his legs threatening to give out as he rides out a white-hot orgasm. 

"Swallow it." He growls, the hand in your hair once again grabbing your chin to make sure you cannot allow any of the semen to escape. He is even so kind as to collect what little cum that had escaped onto your lips with a quick swipe of his thumb, then jamming it into your sore jaw as you swallowed around his digit. Your tongue swirling around the calloused finger to clean the mess. As he removed his finger, you allowed yourself to breathe heavily, catching your breath after the ruthless escapade with Ushijima.

"You did so well... took me so well. I wonder what else you can do my little admirer." Ushijima grins darkly above you, his hands working to conceal his now flaccid cock with the gym shorts that had found purchase around his ankles. You stand up slowly, your knees throbbing as you nearly fall forwards onto Ushijima, who promptly pushes you back against the wall with a light shove.

"I'll find you again, next time won't be as kind." Ushijima grins as your eyes meet his with raised eyebrows.

"That wasn't nice at all but sure, whatever makes you happy." You roll your eyes, already regretting what you've gotten into, yet something in your gut tells you to be happy in the moment, you were closer than you had ever been to your long-time crush. You would definitely not ignore his next request if it was anything that involved pleasuring you as well, because at this rate you knew sex is something he excelled at. You desperately wanted to believe this wasn't just a one-sided fling, although you already knew the answer to that.

~~

He didn't see it coming, the struggle of his match against Karasuno, the emptiness he felt when he lost the last point when he was outwitted. How was HE outwitted by a ragtag team of crows? He couldn't even begin to fathom how he lost his ticket to nationals, how his perfect machine was stripped of its pride on a court where his team obviously had the advantage, or at least that what he continued to believe. He led his team off the court, Goshiki crying silently among his teammates who could barely keep it together as they tried to console the first year. Ushijima was also at his breaking point, the rage of the infuriating loss burning at his bowels, and his blood was red hot as it swarmed in his ears, blocking out all noise save for the surprising sound of your squeaking sneakers in the solemnly silent hallway. He turned his head only slightly at your presence, unable to know how controlled his actions could be at that moment.

"I'm so sorry Ushijima, you played so well, I hope you know that." You try to give him your most convincing smile, although you know it falters as his gaze meets yours with a mix of unreadable emotions brewing within them.

"And yet I know that was a lie y/n. If I had played better than 'well' we would have won. You have so much nerve to just lie straight to a man's face. Don't you think I know better than anyone the truth of this loss? Of course, I do. Come with me, you are so ignorant, I will make sure you are not after this." Ushijima scowls at you, your heart sinking while also flying at a million miles an hour as he yanks your arm along with him, basically dragging you along as he takes a fast pace to somewhere concealed. He barges through the door to the locker room, throwing you ahead of him as he takes a quick look around, deeming that if there were people in the room with you he did not care. At that he smashes your lips together, his hands roughly roaming your body as he continues to get rougher by each second. 

"We have 20 minutes until the others come, now undress." Ushijima snarls into your ear as he yanks off his sweaty uniform over his head. You would almost allow yourself to ogle, then catching yourself as you realize what's about to happen.

"Wait, wait won't we get in trouble? I-" Ushijima silences you with another harsh kiss, pausing to lift your shirt over your head forcibly.

" Let them see, you would like it anyway. To let everyone know that you're fucking THE Ushijima Wakatoshi. You would revel in that wouldn't you, happy as a pig in shit, huh? Now undress before I tear your clothes off of you." Ushijima stops any protest by shoving his tongue down your throat, mixing your saliva with his as he reaches a hand down to help you remove yourself from the tight-fitting jean shorts you had donned earlier that day. You wrapped your arms around his neck and shuffled out of the shorts as they clung to your sweaty skin in the humid locker-room. You so badly wanted to take this moment slowly, but you knew that was not how it was ever going to be with Ushijima, you wanted to take in his figure and compliment him and make love to him, but you knew making love was just a fantasy because you were in a sticky locker room with the man you had wanted for so long, and yet all you could think about was how badly you wanted him. You wanted him, and people would assume it meant this situation, raw lust in its truest, sloppiest form. But you saw it differently, you wanted him in every way, the romantic way, the sexual way, you wanted him because he was a part of you, or at least that's how it felt after obsessing over him for so long. Yet you were stooping lower than you thought you could, doing nearly anything to have this man touch you, to caress you, to give you the attention you craved. In Ushijima's eyes though, this was not a deal of caressing touches for memory, he had needs and you fulfilled them. He found no other deeper meaning behind your relationship, you were purely another person he could bend to his will, someone too blinded by the fantasies of a 'caressing touch' to see the truth behind Ushijima's intimacy. You were jolted back into reality as Ushijima slammed you up against the lockers, this one expanse of space with no bench perfect for caging you in, he had prepared you for this hunt, and now he was going to come in for the kill, he was going to do everything right and it would break your heart into millions of pieces because you knew subconsciously that this intimacy held no value other than a superficial distraction. A whimper bubbled up from your chest as his lips traveled down your neck, suctioning hickeys along your throat and across the exposed skin your neck. A breath was sucked in quickly through your teeth as he bit down harshly on the expanse of soft muscle that connected your head to your shoulders, the bite was merely a distraction as he nimbly unhooked your bra from behind, this coming to a surprise to you as he did not seem to be someone who knew how to unclip it perfectly on the first try. Your surprise was washed away as his feverishly hot mouth enveloped one of your erect nipples, your eyes following your hand as you gripped his damp hair in a weak fist, the other wiping away some sweat dripping down your forehead due to the almost sauna-esk heat in the enclosed room. Ushijima then took a stance upon his knees, generously squeezing the breast that was previously in his mouth as he moved to tentatively lick and then bite down on the other, making sure to not only leave a mark on the underside but also a hickey. He then left both of your breasts to stand alone, choosing to take your thighs with a harsh grip, his head diving between them and clicking a long wet stripe on your inner thigh, sucking a hickey and leaving a harsh bite mark on the other.

"O-ow fuck!" You exclaim at Ushijima's teeth sinking harshly into your left thigh, the soft skin straining at his force. Ushijima just smirks into your skin, moving up to your hip, biting there too before taking your thin underwear between his teeth and dragging them down over the curve of your ass. He drew the opposite side down with his hand, the other snaking between your legs teasingly before helping to yank down the obstacle. You picked up your leg tentatively as he let the underwear fall to your ankles, you were going to make a small hop to discard of the clothing completely but Ushijima lifted you to his shoulders at the speed of light and didn't even waver at your added weight.

"W-What in the hell Ushi- AH!" You were about to scold him for so harshly handling you, but your voice caught in your throat with a shout as he let down a hard slap on your outer thigh with his spiking hand, the broken callouses digging into your flesh and a stinging shock of pain rippling across your body.

"Shut up." He growls, navigating his large hands to your ass with the motive of exposing you to him. His hot breath billowed out onto your throbbing core, making your stomach muscles tense as he immediately licked a wet stripe up your pussy, gathering the slick on the tip of his tongue before swirling it around your swollen clit. The simple action made your head fall back, a loud crack erupting when you slammed your head hard into the metal locker, it was soon accompanied by a whimper of pain and a breathy moan as Ushijima again made an intricate circle around your clit. His thick tongue then delved into your awaiting core as its walls fluttered in anticipation at his actions, everything about him was so thick you couldn't comprehend how someone could possibly be so outlandishly large. You weren't expecting such a loud moan to rip itself out of your chest as the tip of his tongue barely brushed over the sensitive tissue of your g-spot, you were even more surprised when vibrations from Ushijima's low groan reverberated through your core and into your contracted stomach muscles.

"A-ah fuck Ushijima t-there!" You nearly shouted as two of his thick fingers replaced his tongue, which immediately curled into the spongy nerves his tongue had come in contact with, expertly retracting and thrusting at a torturous pace with an occasional scissor which you only could assume was for readying you to take his cock. Your legs were now suffocating Ushijima as he increased his pace, focused on pushing you over the edge as quickly as possible, his tongue wrecking your clit with unimaginable speed and his fingers hitting perfectly center with precision in every thrust and curl. You couldn't even fathom what your senses were experiencing as Ushijima mercilessly ate you out, your hands had become tangled in his hair at some point, the dusty brown mess sticking to your palms. You had imagined this far too many times to not be turned on at the mere thought of having him between your thighs. Your legs began to shake at the strain of constantly clenching them, your ribs nearly hurting from the exasperated breaths you were letting out between cries of ecstasy. Your eyes were wrenched open as you heard the sound of the door directly ahead opening, meeting the gaze of poor Goshiki and Tendo just as a scream of pure rapture left your hoarse lungs, your hands clenching Ushijima's hair in such a horrifying death grip you were afraid you had pulled some out. They stood there astonished only for a second, the sight of your naked body draped across Ushijima's shoulders burning into their brain, the sound that left your lungs echoing in their ears as they were completely stupefied by the sight ahead of them. The door was slammed shut with a force that shook the walls, your body enveloped in a staggering heat as your orgasm hit your body with such force that all of the breath was knocked out of your lungs. All of the muscles in your body tensed, your toes curling to the point of getting a charlie-horse and your eyes were glued on the door in astonishment at what had just occurred.

"You're so loud." Ushijima plainly remarks, smirking down from below you as your gaze falls to his with a bewildered glaze dulling your eyes. Ushijima drank in the sight of you proudly, sweaty with wild hair, chest heaving, flushed in every part of the body, droll snaking down your chin that was joined with tears derived from the immense pleasure, your lips were swollen from the heated makeout earlier and your cheeks were a shade of red he had only assumed was for tomatoes.

"Those were your teammates." You said numbly, aftershocks of your orgasm still running through your legs and stomach as Ushijima lowered you down to stand on your unusable legs.

"Yeah, now they'll leave us alone, so you better not be tired yet." Ushijima smirked when your eyes widened from their previously droopy state.

"More?" You say with a slight quiver in your voice. Ushijima smiled with an almost kind glint in his eyes, his thumb running along your chin and lips to wipe away the escaped saliva.

"Of course, you haven't learned your lesson yet, that was just preparing you for what comes next." You let your weight fall against the lockers, a small grin pulling at your lips.

"Teach me my lesson then Ush-i-ji-ma." You point a single finger at his chest, not even thinking past your bratty nature before Ushijima just smashed your bodies harshly together and proceeded to kiss you heatedly. You could taste yourself on his tongue as he gave you a small precursor to the next violent undertaking. He guided your hand to his volleyball shorts, which you now realized were heavily strained against his painfully hard erection. You quickly helped him push his shorts down, which settled around his ankles in a heap along with his underwear. You ran your hand over the throbbing length, the tip of his cock beaded with precum from the anticipation of fucking you seven times over in this muggy locker room. After you made a few teasing strokes along Ushijima's dick, he hoisted you up, your weight pinned between his now standing figure and the cool lockers behind you. It took a lot of your strength to hold yourself up as your inner thighs were coated in your own slick that Ushijima was now utilizing to prepare your tired core to take his cock, your arms were tensed around his neck and shoulders in an attempt to ground yourself before the surely angry sex. You were desperately trying to romanticize this moment, your mind focusing on far too many things at once to catch Ushijima's words of preparation.

"Are you ready?" Ushijima asked, he knew the answer, but you looked worried as you gazed down at his hand that held his cock just underneath of where you needed it the most. You just nodded against his neck, sucking in a breath as he lowered you down, desperately wishing he was feeling kind enough to give you some time to adjust. You ground your teeth together, the sheer width of his cock already making you feel overwhelmed at a little less than half sheathed. You let out a silent cry and Ushijima lost what little patience he convinced himself of and thrust completely inside of you, the blunt head of his cock pushing your cervix back and stretching your poor body at an angle it had never met before. You let out a shaky breath, your nails digging small crescents into Ushijima's scalp as you desperately tried to stay calm, your eyes betraying you as a thick tear escaped your tear duct and rolled slowly down your cheek, mixing with the sweat gathered upon your skin.

"O-oh god you're so tight." Ushijima groans into your chest, he was trying so desperately to think of you but he couldn't help himself, he had to take you for himself, to feel you join him in a way only he could feel even though his heart was not in the relationship at all.

"F-fuck, p-please don't move yet, it hurts." You whimper into his ear, trying to relax but you couldn't, your core was spasming and you felt overstimulated as your poor virgin cunt took all of Ushijima in one foul thrust. Your whole body felt warm, your heart bursting at this interaction although you had a feeling none of the emotions were reciprocated. You let out a strained breath, shifting your hips in a small circle, trying to take what little control for even a second to allow yourself to adjust. Ushijima took this as a queue to begin moving though, as he pulled out slowly before slowly thrusting back in with a stuttered breath leaving his open mouth. Your mouth was in a taught o-shape as his dick brushed against all the right places without trying, a whine leaving your mouth as he rutted inside you slowly. You tucked your lip between your teeth, trying to overcome the feeling of your body nearly splitting in half.

"Shit." Ushijima was finding it hard to keep his pace slow, the sensual sight of you impaled on his cock was sending him to a craze, he wanted to fuck you into oblivion and then piece you back together slowly, he wanted you to depend on him so he could tear you apart again and watch you cry. He wanted your tears to be for him, he wanted you to feel hollow without him, he wanted to inflict pain upon you only to catch you as you fall only to fix you once again. He liked seeing you in pain for some twisted reason, the sight of you bending to his will was orgasmic in a way. A shock rippled through his body as your tight cunt spasmed around his cock again, pushing his patience far too thin, he wanted to break you just as you had wrecked his patience, he wanted to watch you break under his will. He couldn't help but speed up his pace, wanting to feel you take more and more of him as your body struggled to keep up with all of the new sensations. Your body was wrapped in heat as pleasure and pain fought a battle of who could win over the other. Pleasure won that fight as Ushijima rolled his hips into yours, the new movement sparking a feeling that shot through your limbs with white-hot electricity. An animalistic sound left your lips as Ushijima repeated the action once again, he reveled in the way you stuck to his body in a sweaty heap, the noises you were releasing all stemming from his doing. He allowed himself to let go there, his hips snapping up to meet yours with a feverish desire to reach climax and force you to yours.

"Faster Ushi- H-harder!" You moaned heatedly into his skin, the rest of your words reduced to nothing but a mess of hitched breaths and moans ending in octaves higher than your usual voice. Ushijima obeyed your requests, keeping his pace immaculately as he made sure to hit the same spot over and over again to ensure your cunt would flutter in anticipation of the coming orgasm. Your stomach was twisted into knots as Ushijima groaned into a love bite placed on your chest, his hand dropping one of your legs to instead travel to your clit in hopes of speeding up your orgasm to reach his. He didn't even lay his fingers on your clit for longer than a second before your second overstimulated orgasm tore its way through your veins, your cunt contracting painfully around Ushijima's cock as he heatedly thrust into you to push himself to climax as well. 

"FUCK!" That was the only comprehendible word left your mouth as your body contracted in a painful heap against Ushijima's form, his release mixing with yours as it dripped down your spent thighs. You had barely even heard him utter a sound through your senseless haze. You barely felt his hand ghost over your cheek as he stepped back from the lockers after removing himself from your limp body. He chuckled lightly at the state you were in, the state he had put you in.

"I hope you learned your lesson because if not, next time will be far harder, I will never hold back for you again." He smiles kindly at you, the emotion of his words contradicting the smile he was giving you. You let out a light laugh that almost translated more to a whine as you stood fully on shaky legs, you could barely hold yourself up against the locker. You shot a pitiful smile at Ushijima as he was gentleman enough to collect your discarded clothes and helped you into them once again. He merely rolled his eyes as you took a hand upon his shoulder to slip on the sandals you had lost earlier. You felt so full of confidence and love at that moment, you couldn't help but look at him with so much admiration and pride. You felt as if you were on top of the world, you had tamed the great Ushijima Waktoshi, hadn't you?

"You must know me better than that by now Ushijima, of course, I haven't learned my lesson yet." You laugh heartily as he let out a huff, you looked so pitiful but you needed to be knocked down a few pegs.

"Don't laugh it wasn't a joke, call me when you aren't as clingy." He leaves your side coldly as he strides to the door, yanking it open and throwing you out into the hallway. Upon your unreliable legs, you fall to the ground and catch yourself with sweaty hands, all blood draining out of your face as you look back merely to be met with a slammed door. All of the euphoria and confidence that you had from the previous encounter had evaporated, you couldn't believe how hot and cold he could be. You wiped your eye with a hand that was dirty from the floor, trying to stop any tears from leaving your eyes, why were you so sensitive to his words? Why did you allow him so much power over you? You couldn't understand yourself, your choices, or your feelings at this point. All of the admiration you had held felt obscene and idiotic, you couldn't help but want to curl up and disappear, sitting in a dirty hallway, your legs unclean, your body was weak, and yet somehow you continued to lose even more to the same man.

"Oh god there she is, she's alive," You heard a voice murmur behind you, you looked up to see a shocked Tendo and a red-faced Goshiki, " hey tell me Y/n, Y/n right? Why in the hell do you put yourself through that knowing he doesn't care." Tendo looked mildly annoyed, more at the thought of you giving your energy to someone who could care less about your well being than you. 

"I-I honestly think I love him." You whisper, shakily standing up, balanced with your hands forward on your knees, lifting your head to peer at Tendo through your mess of hair.

"Your funeral Y/n. I hope you know that." Tendo looked sadly down at your battered frame, bruises forming along your skin and a sheen of sweat still covering your forehead.

"I guess I knew that when I started."

~~

Somehow you had survived until college doing this painful dance with Ushijima. Fucking and breaking you heart just a little more everytime. You could almost exactly tell the plan of events everytime you hooked up. You would have a scuffle before hand, it was almost like he liked to take out his anger out on you with his orgasm denial and bruising thrusts. After some mind blowing sex that could almost make you forget how he would treat you afterward, you would have a choice, leave without saying anything or try to make a move to get closer to him or cuddle with him in his bed. Of course you had stopped trying the latter a long time ago when he had thrown you the most disgusted look ever and called you stupid. There was one time you were moving to leave, and he pulled you into his chest by the waist, his heat enveloping your body and giving you heartbreaking comfort. It broke your heart to stay in his arms, because you wanted to stay so goddam bad yet you knew he meant nothing by it. He was probably feeling lonely or it was some sort of torture you had not yet felt inflicted by him. Except that last point was invalid, every single moment spent with him not fucking or being thrown away like trash, you felt tortureously ripping your heart apart. He held you inches away from his heart, close enough to feel all of the pain in loving someone with none of the escatsy in having those feelings returned. He made sure that any time you were you were visibly affectionate to him he shut you down, knocking your hand away or blatantly ignoring your offer for a hug. He did not treat you well in the least, yet somehow you stayed for over a year and a half, for what? You stayed for the moments of orgasmic ecstasy that made you feel so increbidly close to him it hurt, so close yet so, so incredibly far away. 

"Fuck." You let out a harsh whisper as the elevator dinged to the top floor, Ushijima's floor. You planned on this being the last time. If nothing changed you would leave him. It would hurt so much less than this game of constantly shooting yourself in the foot. You looked ahead of you confidently, today you would stop the cycle, break the trend. You strode to his door, you had done it so many times it almost felt like second nature to let a soft rap upon the door to alert him to your arrival, but today was different so you just let yourself in. You weren't surprised to find him lazily half-dressed with his nose in a textbook on the couch. He had become increasingly more lazy as the school year got more intense, he wouldn't bring you to risky places anymore, but you felt something had changed. You honestly didn't care anymore though, merely wanting to get this over with as you kicked off your shoes at his door.

"Hey." You say, rolling your eyes as he brings his gaze to you in your tight-fitting tank top and shorts for only a second before he returns his gaze to the text in front of him. You can't believe he wouldnt even greet you, the quicker this is over with the better, you sigh to yourself.

"Go to my room and undress I'll be there in a second." You wanted to hit him or leave then and there, but maybe one last fuck as the end of a great cresenrdo was what you needed, a glorified end to something sick. You walk away to the bedroom, stripping on your way there to maybe give him a reason to hurry up. You stumbled over an empty whiskey bottle lying upon the floor, you grimaced, that's why he smelled so sweet from so far away. He had the nerve to get drunk and not give you the attention you deserved. You just groan and strip, setting your clothes in an easily accessible pile for your escape at the end. You lay ass up upon the bed, picking at your chipping nail polish in the wide expanse of dark blue bedding. His apartment was minimalistic, paid for with his volleyball, and decorated by some urban mom hidden in the art department of the college. Your body was covered in goosebumps in the cold apartment by the time Ushijima staggered in, a half-hard on hidden in his pants, probably weakened from his whiskey dick. He didn't even ask before pulling your hips to meet his lowered face, landing a hard slap down on the soft skin before giving the area an open-mouthed kiss. He cupped your cunt from behind, it was a sad recreation of the past, you wanted this to be over. He removed his hand with a confused eyebrow raised, in his state he couldn't quite put his finger on what was wrong, but he knew you were supposed to be wet and he wasn't supposed to feel upset when you weren't. Weren't you the one who was supposed to feel aroused at the thought of him? Werent you the one who was shaking it the knees at the thought of a kiss? He wasn't supposed to feel so light and fluttery at the thought of such idiotic things, right?

"What's wrong?" He asked, he had never asked that before, what was so different about tonight? Of course, he had long since figured out why he had been feeling like he needed to be colder towards you, because he had slowly come to harbor feelings for you. These feelings had constricted his heart, held him in his old habits in fear of making you think he was weak. He wanted to be strong, if not for you for his ego. Somehow these feelings had translated to him not caring for you in the least, he suspected this would not be an eventful night, he almost felt like this would be the last time he would see you. The thought of not seeing you again made him go mad, he was feeling rushed, not taking his time, and becoming lost in the thought of losing you. He wanted to keep you, yet somehow he felt all of the old obsession and attraction to him had evaporated from your body, he knew he had ruined his chances with you by now but all he could do was be with you here.

"Nothing just fuck me Ushijima." He knew that was a lie, but he still abided, choosing to instead undress while grabbing a condom.

"Hold this." He tosses you the condom while pulling off his pants, he wanted to make you feel good, he wanted to do it how he used to. He didn't want to feel this way and he didn't want to lose you. You looked mildly annoyed, your dull glint in your eye not changing as he picked you hips up to his kneeling figure beside the bed, he lowered his eyes from your gaze as he began to eat you out. He felt beaten, bested by an otherworldly power. He did everything right this time, he was doing what you liked. But that didn't seem to be enough for him, such a large part of him wanted to kiss you and give you the affection he had denied you but at this point, he knew he could not. He had made his bed and now he had to lie in it even at the horrific cost of losing you. He was so relieved at the sound of your soft moan, his body lighting up with fire at every movement he made illicited a small reaction from you. He made every action like it was his last, savoring your soft moans as he brought you closer to your climax. He had spent so much time learning your body that now he knew every movement to make in order to bring you to your climax as quickly as possible in preparation for actual penetration. But today he didn't want everything to be so fast, he so desperately wanted to savor your body but he was also stuck in the routine of doing everything for his own benefit.

"Do you wanna cum?" Ushijima found himself taunting you out of habit, edging you in hopes of magnifying the effects of the approaching orgasm.

“Y-yes!” You groaned in relief as he began his movements again, more vigorously in hopes of helping you achieve your high. You wanted to roll your eyes, somehow (to you at least) he still seemed to no be able to understand or even pick up your additude. He knew your body far too well, almost to a fault, he could make you cum in minutes and it wouldn’t even be a sup-par orgasm. He had grown with you, but that growth had made you two different people from when you were both in high school. You had tried to convince yourself you wouldn’t miss the incredible sex, but you knew that was a lie because you had a gut feeling no one else could satisfy you like he did.

“F-fuck! Please!” You nearly shout as Ushijima forces you to finish with a powerful convulsion of your legs around his head. Ushijima let out a low groan at the taste of you in his mouth, he wanted to have this feeling of accomplishment forever. The sight of you cumming for him gave him more adrenaline than winning a volleyball game, you were the only thing that had ever been more exciting to him than a game of volleyball, and yet somehow he was letting you slip through his fingers like sand. He felt as if he couldn’t breathe, his heart was so constricted, he felt like he was drowning and you were his last breath leaving his lungs, air he had once taken for granted that he now yearned for more of.

“Jesus...” You sighed contently, you felt like the world was opening itself up to you as you got closer to ending this night. You handed Ushijima the condom with a shaker hand, smiling at him wanting to laugh to yourself as you knew he thought this to be a good sign. Really your smile was full of malice, a warm gesture hiding a cold interior that he had built around this night, you almost felt elated at the thought of being free of him. Ushijima crawled above you, his lips were pressed in a thin line to hide the adoration welling up behind his eyes, he wanted to cry because that was the only thing knew how to do to release this heartbreaking emotion. He ripped open the condom with his thick fingers and rolled it down his throbbing cock. He wanted to join himself with you, he wanted to lock himself in the position of being so close for the rest of his life.

“Ready?” Ushijima asked, holding your legs apart before him, the head of his cock was rubbing teasingly at your entrance, it nearly looked small in his massive hand. Yet next to your body it always looked like it would never fit. You let out a low whine as an answer, he immediately obliged and pushed himself into you, it was a feeling you would never forget, the feeling of being so perfectly full, yet now it never made your insides feel fuzzy, you would just feel mildly repulsed at the thought of being so close to Ushijima once again. Even though your mind told you to feel repulsed at the thought of Ushijima entering you again, you let out an enlongated moan as he pushed back at the boundaries of your throbbing cunt. Ushijima’s fingers dig harshly into the soft flesh of your hips and thighs, large hands enveloping your skin with searing heat as his walls fell in your presence. 

“Fuck!” He grunted a lot louder than usual, he had begun thrusting deep into your spasming cunt quite quickly and it had caused you to squeeze tightly around him. He wanted to bring to to oblivion with him, he knew he could, if he could turn back time he would, he would have complimented your favorite dress, and he would have appreciated you at the peak of your attraction to him. You made him the person he wished he could be, you brought out a side of him not even he knew he had, yet he hid that from even you, his ego had been inflated for far too long and now it was too late to change your mind. He had to bring you to climax with him, he wanted to make love with you, and yet this was just senseless fucking in a house that would no longer feel like home without you. He thrust himself deep inside you, feeling every inch of your body beneath him, your voice was a song we wanted to hear forever, your scent was a drug he wanted to stay addicted to, your body moved in a dance that captivated him in a way no other woman could ever compare. You were the most enthralling being and he couldn’t help but feel lost in the feeling of your body conjoined with his. He didn’t realize he was crying until you made a choked sound as the salty swell fell into the valley of your breasts, he didn’t realize he was chanting your name with a phrase he thought would never leave his vocals.

“What the fuck did you just say.” You said, your blood ran ice cold, all the pleasure that had been built up in your core had dissipated, you were sure you didn’t hear him right. You couldn’t have.

“Y/n-“

“No- Ushijima, what. The. Fuck. Did. You. Say.” 

“Y/n-“ He removed himself from you, his blood was rushing behind his ears, he felt sick, he knew he was near sobbing,”please, y/n I-.” He stopped, he didn’t know if he could say it again.

“I’m leaving. Ushijima,” you try to get up from the bed, you wouldn’t cry about this until later when you could feel wasted and used alone, “we aren’t going to see each other again.”

“No,, no no, y/n. Y/n,” Ushijima grabbed your arm, his eyes were blurred with tears, he could feel his heart being torn apart at your words,”please, y/n I- I love you. I- I cant lose you, please you can’t leave me, I love you.” He was sobbing, his voice was cracking as he felt his stomach dropping. He felt like was was being physically stabbed, each word leaving your mouth was another knife slicing right through his broken heart. Hot tears were rolling down his cheeks, and his vice grip on your arm made your blood boil with rage. 

“You are such a bastard you know that? You lost your chance Ushijima, now, Let. Me. Go.” You were seething, every single word was hissed through your teeth. You grabbed the man’s hand that was wrapped around your forearm, your nails biting into his skin as a deterrent from holding you back. He had always been holding you back, you were going to take control now, you were going to make the right choice this time. 

“But- don’t you love me too?” Ushijima felt confused, he had always just assumed he couldn’t lose you, and now here he was right here, right now. You laughed and rolled your eyes, yanking your arm out of his grip, and turning around to grab your clothes, you were going to walk out of here naked if it meant leaving faster.

“You are one funny son of a bitch you know that? Ushijima, I stopped loving you a long time ago. You will never. ever. have me again.“ You have to stop yourself from laughing and sobbing at the same time, you felt like a weight had been lifted off your shoulders. And yet Ushijima felt the exact opposite, he felt like the entire world has just come crashing down upon his hunched figure, he couldn’t stop the tears from falling, he couldn’t even find the power in his body to chase you and stop you from leaving. Your words broke him, he was shattered in so many different places and ways. He felt pain running through his stomach, his heart felt so broken, he felt so worthless, and the feelings were so strong that they were translating to real physical pain. He couldn’t stop his hot swells of salty tears from rolling down his face, he had never cried so hard, he had never felt sobs rack his body so hard that he could barely imagine breathing again. You had left quite a long time ago, yet it had felt like minutes, he felt like he had only been on the floor gasping in pain as his sobs created bone breaking pressure in his head for a couple minutes. He couldn’t even comprehend the end of something so magnificent, he didn’t know how he could have possible fucked up so bad as to lose you. You. You were the only thing on his mind. He dragged himself to the kitchen, he had kept his alcohol underneath the sink, so he reached down and grabbed a random bottle. He didn’t even bother to grab a glass, he just brought the cold bottle to his lips and allowed the liquid to burn down his throat. It was the only sense he could feel, pain, the burning was the only feeling that cut through your image leaving him. He kept turning your words over in his head, he didn’t understand it. Something felt off, but he couldn’t have expected this, how didn’t he see it? Maybe it was the mere thought of having you as his that blinded him from the truth, the sickeningly opaque illusion of love had blinded him from your truth. And that was that every single word you said was true. He had never treated you well, and now that he had finally realized that you were what he wanted, you were no longer his.

“FUCK!” Ushijima cursed loudly and threw the now empty bottle across the room, he had never felt this type of pain before, he could only cry and allow hissing breaths through his aching ribs. He could almost hear your voice saying the words over and over again, the sound was driving him to insanity.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry y/n.” Ushijima could only mumble meaningless apologies into his hands, your heart was not his anymore, he now knew that better than anyone. And yet you were the only thing he could think of, you were intoxicating, You were the only satisfying thing he had ever found in this life, and he had lost you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I- idk man I’m kinda hurt, sorry this took so long to get out ;-;
> 
> *grabby hands* hand over the kudos I’m in pain (T-T)
> 
> Also thank you my beautiful beta readers ilysm ;-;


	3. A/N

Hey y’all! I just wanted to get on here and say thanks for 3000 reads and 100 kudos :3 <3 

I am not discontinuing this collection, I have really just not been feeling motivated to write :( angsty Tendo will come soon maybe over break (Thanksgiving,, this is written as of 10:22pm November 22 2020) I won’t promise anything because the truth is that by mental health has been really struggling, but not in the way that it makes me want to write, in the way that I feel empty and unmotivated ;-; 

Thank you for staying and liking my oneshots (°▽°) This might change to a collabed work between two fandoms, Haikyu!! And Shingeki no Kyojin (AOT) bc my thirst for Reiner went from 100% to 23739373857938274948% AHAJSJDBD

If you’re reading this know I appreciate you! You are loved even if it’s just me :) you matter and you give this world a light no one else can! I am proud you woke up this morning and I am so glad you have the drive to love things so deeply and be yourself <3 eat something, drink some water, go outside, and stay healthy luvs

As of 10:56 November 22 2020 I posted a lil thought and drabble so teehee I was feeling sad but not in a tendo way a reiner way :)


	4. Aone Takanobu Thought & Reiner Braun Drabble

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Idk man I want someone to cradle my face
> 
> AOT s2 spoilers, j a lil Drabble for you :3 <3 it’s about Reiner and it’s kinda sad and doesn’t have a real point but :) yeah akdjfkfn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ;-;
> 
> Lmao I reread this the day after,, now edited with better grammar :) ty sleepy author for this sad lil piece of Reiner ;-;

You and futakuchi and aone are on a midnight drive to the ocean and you took the trip in futakuchi’s truck. You climb out the back window and sit in the back as you enter the tunnel, letting the sound drown out your thoughts. Aone reaches his hand through the window and brings your attention to him, and kisses you through the window

Uhhh ahaha,,, late night thoughts. That’s it. That’s the chapter,, actually,,,, lemme say sum about my man mr Braun

Lowkey spoilers if you haven’t seen past s2 of AOT. Mm some angst SKND,, i was listening to some sleepy piano music and wrote this instead of sleeping so,, here :)  
Nefeoedd- by Chieloka : this is the song I listened to like at halfway kinda fit the vibe <3

Maybe if the circumstances were different, you tell yourself. Yet you couldn’t bring yourself to stop loving him. He was a blazing hot fire that roared to life, filling your life with the passion and warmth and strength you needed, and yet, here you were, watching him betray everything that you thought he stood for, everything you thought you knew. He was so strong, you knew that from the bruising grip he had previously held your neck in when you tried to talk some sense into him. After what? After you had learned he was a traitor to everything you had been raised, bred, to believe. Maybe he was coming from a good place, but where could that place be? Obviously, a place where the confident man you had once spilled your heart out to could flip a switch and tear your fragile house of cards heart to the ground. You were delicate in that way. He had always been so careful, didn’t he love you? That is what he said when he held you close in the stolen moments aside from war and starvation. Why couldn’t you stop crying? Who were those hot tears for when the man you felt so deeply enamored with had been nothing but a white lie. A lie so white when you tried to picture it in your head you got burned, yet you still accepted that pain. You wanted to believe so badly that your love was worth something to him, anything. You wanted to believe that the cheesey remarks and the feather light kisses and heavy hugs meant something. Yet in that moment, your heart felt nothing but war, nothing but red hot agony burning it’s way down your throat, running through your veins, burning in a way only the screams of dying souls reaped before fate’s desire could describe. You could feel your heart fall and shatter as you had watched his eyes glaze over in anguish as he tried so hard to silence you. The hands you had wanted to hold were now trying their best to take away the life you have been fighting to protect. Yet now in this memory of how this man had nearly killed you, you could only remember how unbelievably ethereal he looked, he was just a beautiful man, beautiful blonde hair and features chiseled by artists of a land you would never know. How you could still think so deeply into this memory of him made your head hurt just thinking about it. Now, you stare through heavy lashes as his titan reaches for you, perhaps your final hurrah could be his. Your last parting gift, maybe he would cry for you. Honestly, you had spent far too much time trying to please others and you had never really thought of what you wanted. How did you want to die? Well you never thought it would be like this, but Reiner allowing you to take your last breath seems fitting. As he was the man to first take it away.

mm this was very ranty lmao sorry meOOOWWW

**Author's Note:**

> Drop a kudos if you want, idk kinda makes me feel validated :>


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